She says that I have chosen an interesting subject to write an essay on but the points that I have made throughout my essay are very brief and don't have much detail. Therefore, my discussion remains on the surface needing to have a bit more depth to it. Its a shame cause she thought I managed to give a decent overview and have identified some interesting examples.
Next time I write an essay I need to work on:
- Bringing depth to each of the points I discuss
- Making sure for definite that there is a connection between each point
The feedback has been really good because I've got some points that I can improve on ready to write my next essay.
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